I QUIT!!!

For those who don't know...As of today it has been 4 weeks since the last time I smoked!!! Woo Hoo for me!!! I haven't killed anyone yet...and trust me there have been times when I thought about it, and it had nothing to do with not being able to smoke, but that's a story for another time. Honestly, this isn't as hard as I thought it was going to be though. The toughest part is when I'm drinking, there's nothing like a cold beer and a cigarette, but the new Smokefree AZ law most definitely helps! Of course I get cravings, but I'm not going to go stand outside when it's 105' outside, even in the shade, just for a cigarette! The funniest thing happened when I was working out last week...I worked out really hard, had to get rid of some pent up anger. I was sweating so bad, it was way gross! Anyway, after my workout I was stretching my back, sitting on my knees with my chin curled into my chest...For the first time in years I didn't smell like an ashtray, and I realized that even though I smelled gross and sweaty, I still smelled really good, I could still smell the scent of my shampoo, my body spray, my fabric softener.

Now for the test...I'm going to Vegas June 9th for a wedding...How can I not smoke in Vegas? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!!!

Schools Out!

Last Thursday was the last day of school at LDI...The students are still here, looking for jobs, or if they have job they are working more hours or taking classes at the college. But things here at the office get pretty quiet. I look forward to summer because I can get so much done, but I have an awful habit of doing everything right away, then by the time July rolls around I can't find anything to do.

New and Improved Me!!

Lat night I was taking Brianna to get her hair done and she was telling me about this boy that she likes, she said that he is sweeter than Derek...Then she asked me why I broke up with Derek, she thinks he's the greatest. I told her simply that Derek and I wanted different things, that I want to get married someday and he doesn't...Then the next thing I know I'm on this rampage about how I shouldn't have to settle, that yes, relationships are about comprimise, but that it should be 50/50...And even though Derek is a great guy I doubt he ever loved me the way that I want to or deserve to be loved. I don't think I'm asking for too much or that my standards are too high...But I want a man who loves me the way I am...not waiting and hoping that I would suddenly fit into and look really hot in a size 2...how every once in a while I want my guy to tell me that I look good when we're getting ready to go out, to treat me like I'm the one that he wants to be with...Basically it was all about what I want and what I deserve, that I think I've got some great attributes and I expect to be treated that way...This went one for like 15 minutes, poor Brianna she had no idea what she was getting herself into...

All this positive self-esteem crap has got to be due to the damn Dr. Phil books that mom's got me reading...or it's the whole quitting smoking, maybe I'm going crazy!It's the New and Improved Me!