Let me start by saying we are entering my favorite time of the year!! I love the Christmas Season, from Thanksgiving to Christmas...the good feelings, time spent with friends/family, and the feeling in the air that there are good things happening. Have you ever noticed how it seems that people are more giving and forgiving during this time of year? I love all the get togethers (any reason for party), there is hardly anything about this season that I don't like!!!
But I never realized what torture the holidays really are for single people…Even movies have noted the how tormented the “singletons” are during this festive time of year. When did this happen? Has it always been this way and I am just now noticing it because this is the first time since I was 18 that I am single for Christmas??? Of all of my relatives (under 18 not included) I am the most single, even my single cousins have kids. Today during lunch I was talking w/ my friends and mentioned that I hope that Derek is going to his sisters for Christmas Eve so that I can spend the evening with Titus…and I just realized how utterly pathetic that sounds!
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Will it be a Happy Thanksgiving?
This is hard for me to admit, but I am actually dreading going to my sister's today for Thanksgiving dinner. Thanksgiving used to be my favorite holiday, my family has always been close, and Thanksgiving is the one time when we all get together, without fail. Even though certain family members are loud and things get chaotic, it was also warm, relaxed, and festive without being fussy or stressful. We'd hang out into the evening, talking, joking, Amy and Aunt Shelley planning their shopping strategy for Black Friday and trying to convince me to go shopping with them at 5:00am the next morning.
But in this last year, a lot has changed, the family dynamic has changed. I have come to expect certain behaviors from my family members. My mom has always and will always meddle and give my unsolicited advice, but I know that she does this because she loves me, cares about me and just wants me to be happy. Aunt Shelley has always been very opinionated, it's not even that she gives me advice, she just tells me what to do and how to do it and everyone knows that it's not that she means to be a bitch, that's just how she is, we all accept it and love her for it. My dad, Uncle Greg and Daren are typical men, in front of the TV watching the tradition football game. The kids, Brianna, Cheyanna, Brad & Lindsey, Alicia and Curtis usually run in and out playing, being loud, creating even more havoc, just being typical kids with unlimited amounts of energy. And this year we get the "pleasure" of having Daren's family join us for dinner, I'm not even going to go there! And lastly there is Amy...Anyone who knows Amy knows that she has always had bitchy tendencies, but lately she has grown into something unspeakable...my Grandma Perry, this is not a good thing. She never has anything nice to say, she criticizes everyone. She has become the Mega-bitch! It's almost like she is so unhappy with herself that she feels the need to make everyone else unhappy. Perhaps it's the way that she deals with her own insecurities and makes herself feels better. The tension that I feel when I am around her is unnerving, it takes every ounce of my strength for me not to tell her what I think. However, in the words of my Grandma Adams "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".
I wish I could end on an optimistic note. I hang onto a hope that Thanksgiving will turn into something new and better for my family. I do want to spend it with these people I love and actually enjoy it. I want to think of Thanksgiving as the cool and special holiday I always saw it as.
But in this last year, a lot has changed, the family dynamic has changed. I have come to expect certain behaviors from my family members. My mom has always and will always meddle and give my unsolicited advice, but I know that she does this because she loves me, cares about me and just wants me to be happy. Aunt Shelley has always been very opinionated, it's not even that she gives me advice, she just tells me what to do and how to do it and everyone knows that it's not that she means to be a bitch, that's just how she is, we all accept it and love her for it. My dad, Uncle Greg and Daren are typical men, in front of the TV watching the tradition football game. The kids, Brianna, Cheyanna, Brad & Lindsey, Alicia and Curtis usually run in and out playing, being loud, creating even more havoc, just being typical kids with unlimited amounts of energy. And this year we get the "pleasure" of having Daren's family join us for dinner, I'm not even going to go there! And lastly there is Amy...Anyone who knows Amy knows that she has always had bitchy tendencies, but lately she has grown into something unspeakable...my Grandma Perry, this is not a good thing. She never has anything nice to say, she criticizes everyone. She has become the Mega-bitch! It's almost like she is so unhappy with herself that she feels the need to make everyone else unhappy. Perhaps it's the way that she deals with her own insecurities and makes herself feels better. The tension that I feel when I am around her is unnerving, it takes every ounce of my strength for me not to tell her what I think. However, in the words of my Grandma Adams "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".
I wish I could end on an optimistic note. I hang onto a hope that Thanksgiving will turn into something new and better for my family. I do want to spend it with these people I love and actually enjoy it. I want to think of Thanksgiving as the cool and special holiday I always saw it as.
Friday, November 17, 2006
I'm Not 29...I'm 26!!!!
| You Are 26 Years Old |
 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Aerosmith & Motley Crue
If you were to ask me my favorite group? Hands down...Aerosmith! I know they’re old, and they were around for more than a decade before I even began to like them. Their music isn’t for everyone, but I am sure that everyone can admit to liking at least one of their songs.
The concert last night was AWESOME! The seats were perfect, we were in the 2nd section which is on just enough of an incline that the tall man in front of me wasn’t blocking my view. Motley Crue (the original members) opened the show. I remember back in the day, when I was like 13, I wanted to be a groupie for Motley Crue; I had such a huge crush on Vince Neil. Vince didn’t sound that great, couldn’t hold the high notes the way he did years ago, their pyrotechnics and the fireworks were amazing.
Then Aerosmith took the stage!! I am sure Derek is deaf from my constant screaming, I’m surprised I even have a voice today, however I do sound a bit like Marge Simpson. Steven Tyler, unlike Vince Neil, hasn’t changed a bit. The man can sing just like he did 20 years ago, he’s going like a hundred years old and has more energy then most of the people I know. He is very commanding on stage, running and jumping all over the place. The music was phenomenal, as I knew it would be. I was a bit saddened that a few of my favorite songs didn’t make the play list, Janie’s Got a Gun, Amazing, Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing, I’m not even going to try to recap the songs they played, they were playing for almost 2 hours. I can tell you that they saved Walk This Way for the encore. There was one bad thing that happened...my camera battery went completely dead! I couldn't believe it, I took one picture of Crue and that's it...
All in all it was a great show!!!
The concert last night was AWESOME! The seats were perfect, we were in the 2nd section which is on just enough of an incline that the tall man in front of me wasn’t blocking my view. Motley Crue (the original members) opened the show. I remember back in the day, when I was like 13, I wanted to be a groupie for Motley Crue; I had such a huge crush on Vince Neil. Vince didn’t sound that great, couldn’t hold the high notes the way he did years ago, their pyrotechnics and the fireworks were amazing.
Then Aerosmith took the stage!! I am sure Derek is deaf from my constant screaming, I’m surprised I even have a voice today, however I do sound a bit like Marge Simpson. Steven Tyler, unlike Vince Neil, hasn’t changed a bit. The man can sing just like he did 20 years ago, he’s going like a hundred years old and has more energy then most of the people I know. He is very commanding on stage, running and jumping all over the place. The music was phenomenal, as I knew it would be. I was a bit saddened that a few of my favorite songs didn’t make the play list, Janie’s Got a Gun, Amazing, Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing, I’m not even going to try to recap the songs they played, they were playing for almost 2 hours. I can tell you that they saved Walk This Way for the encore. There was one bad thing that happened...my camera battery went completely dead! I couldn't believe it, I took one picture of Crue and that's it...
All in all it was a great show!!!
Monday, November 13, 2006
California
California this past weekend was great! Friday we went wine tasting in Temecula. i'm not a big fan of wine, I want to like it, but it's definitely an acquired taste. Saturday we spent the day in San Diego, we ate at the PB Bar & Grill which was awesome because they had the U of M game on every TV and everyone there was wearing Blue & Gold! We walked along the beach, it was a little chilly, and there were actually people in the water. Then we headed downtown to the Gaslamp District, stopped in at Dick's Last Resort for a couple of cocktails. Scott had to go home to pack, he was going out of town early the next morning. We decided to have Scott drop us off at a bar that was closer to home. We picked Texas Loosey's, got something to eat, had a few more drinks, and played the longest game of pool in history, since none of us can play pool, it seemed like the game was never going to end. I think Brooke won, but I'm not sure. After an enormous bar tab at Texas Loosey's we went around the corner to another bar, I'm not sure what it was called, but they had a band and a dance floor, it was great. I'm not sure what time Scott came to get us, I think it was after 1:00am.
Needless to say all 3 of us were pretty hungover yesterday...The drive home was awful. Poor Nikki, I hardly talked at all on the way home, surprising huh? That just tells you how hungover I really was. As soon as I download my pic's I'll post a couple of the pic's we took while we were sober.
Needless to say all 3 of us were pretty hungover yesterday...The drive home was awful. Poor Nikki, I hardly talked at all on the way home, surprising huh? That just tells you how hungover I really was. As soon as I download my pic's I'll post a couple of the pic's we took while we were sober.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Long Weekend...
Woo Hoo, it's Friday. Well, not really but I have tomorrow off in observance of Veterans Day. Nikki and I are leaving for California tonight as soon as we get off. I'm so excited, I have only seen Brooke one time since 4th of July. I'm not sure what the plan is once we get there, but I'm sure that whatever we do it will be great. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures!!!
On top of being way excited about going to California this weekend, Derek surpised me last night with Aerosmith tickets...OMG!!! I'm sure you can imagine but I really didn't sleep well last night. It's like that Disney Land commercial where the little boy says, "We're too excited to sleep"!!!
On top of being way excited about going to California this weekend, Derek surpised me last night with Aerosmith tickets...OMG!!! I'm sure you can imagine but I really didn't sleep well last night. It's like that Disney Land commercial where the little boy says, "We're too excited to sleep"!!!
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Dreams
Once again I find myself in a frustrating situation...And it's beginning to effect me on every level (Don't worry mom, we already discussed this). Over the last few nights I have been dreaming again about tornadoes...
A Tornado is a violent storm in nature, and it may represent violent emotional storms in your dreams. Tornado dreams could represent the emotional changes in your life and also the amount of anger and rage that you may be currently experiencing. Tornadoes could also represent disruptions and upsets in you immediate environment and specific or current issues that may be overwhelming.
What to do?
A Tornado is a violent storm in nature, and it may represent violent emotional storms in your dreams. Tornado dreams could represent the emotional changes in your life and also the amount of anger and rage that you may be currently experiencing. Tornadoes could also represent disruptions and upsets in you immediate environment and specific or current issues that may be overwhelming.
What to do?
Sunday, November 05, 2006
I am What I am
Once again I am sitting here thinking about what I have done wrong in my latest dating debauchery and I have just realized that whenever I date someone I have a tendency to feel self self-conscious about my actions and I become afraid that no matter what happens, I will always be the "bad" one in the relationship, whether it’s justified or not.
Love me or hate me…this is me. I am an adult, I'm 33, I drink, I swear, I wear shirts that show off my cleavage, I wear too much make-up, I smoke, I get my nails done, I’m a bit high-maintenance and I really don't save as much money as I should. I stay out (and up) too late. I enjoy reality TV and sitcoms when I should be watching a documentary or something educational. I saying things without thinking first (aka sticking foot in mouth). My diet sucks; I eat pizza, burgers, fries, and chips & salsa when I should be having a salad or something healthy. I sleep in until 11:00 instead of going to church on Sundays. I skip breakfast, but I always have my Diet Coke.
But here’s the thing…I'm also a good friend, a good sister a good daughter. I love my family and friends and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for them. I am a shoulder to cry on, someone who will listen, and someone who will be there when you just want to laugh. I’ll give you advice, even though you don’t have to take it, and I will try really hard to not say “I told you so” later. You can cry to me and I will never tell anyone later. You can tease me and I will tease you back. I work hard for less money than I should because I believe that I am helping people.
I am what I am…and I am fine with it all, the good and the bad…What I want is someone who is fine with it all, too.
Love me or hate me…this is me. I am an adult, I'm 33, I drink, I swear, I wear shirts that show off my cleavage, I wear too much make-up, I smoke, I get my nails done, I’m a bit high-maintenance and I really don't save as much money as I should. I stay out (and up) too late. I enjoy reality TV and sitcoms when I should be watching a documentary or something educational. I saying things without thinking first (aka sticking foot in mouth). My diet sucks; I eat pizza, burgers, fries, and chips & salsa when I should be having a salad or something healthy. I sleep in until 11:00 instead of going to church on Sundays. I skip breakfast, but I always have my Diet Coke.
But here’s the thing…I'm also a good friend, a good sister a good daughter. I love my family and friends and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for them. I am a shoulder to cry on, someone who will listen, and someone who will be there when you just want to laugh. I’ll give you advice, even though you don’t have to take it, and I will try really hard to not say “I told you so” later. You can cry to me and I will never tell anyone later. You can tease me and I will tease you back. I work hard for less money than I should because I believe that I am helping people.
I am what I am…and I am fine with it all, the good and the bad…What I want is someone who is fine with it all, too.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Men Will be Men
I don’t know about most women out there, but I am of the opinion that…”It doesn’t matter where you get your appetite so long as you eat at home”. However, at the same time I don’t want to be with a man that is constantly reminding me what he finds appealing, especially when he is not referring to me!
Some men seem to be a bit more careful with their wondering eyes then others…why is that? And should women just sit back and believe that “men will men”? The truth is that I have just as much of a wondering eye as some of the men I know, I have blatantly lusted after beautiful men, who hasn’t? The difference is I know how to be subtle about it. It wasn’t until after about 5 years into my relationship with Derek that I finally got sick of his checking out other women and commenting on how perfect their bodies were. I eventually didn’t care whether or not he caught me checking out some hot piece of ass, I guess I got to the point of “if you can’t beat‘em join’em”.
I'll give men some credit and say that, initially, it’s probably more of a reflex to look at someone that stands out. But, unless you are a child, I think you should be able to control staring and making comments. I wonder if men even consider how this may makes the girl they are with feel…I’m sure there are some women who aren’t bothered by this. To be completely honest, it’s not even that it bothers me that much…I am not, never have been, never will be, the girlfriend that throws a fit if my man goes to a stripclub with his buddies, again, I'm of the belief that "it doesn't matter where you get your appetite so long as you eat at home". Having said that, what bothers me is when a man is staring at another women, commenting on how hot she is and I am sitting right next to him!
I have only ever dated one…yes I said one man who I never saw/caught checking out other women, I was treated like I was the hottest most sexy woman in the room…I’m not going to lose hope, I believe that there are other men out there that have the ability to control the grunting and drooling over a beautiful woman with a nice rack and a tight ass when they are on a date with another woman…
Some men seem to be a bit more careful with their wondering eyes then others…why is that? And should women just sit back and believe that “men will men”? The truth is that I have just as much of a wondering eye as some of the men I know, I have blatantly lusted after beautiful men, who hasn’t? The difference is I know how to be subtle about it. It wasn’t until after about 5 years into my relationship with Derek that I finally got sick of his checking out other women and commenting on how perfect their bodies were. I eventually didn’t care whether or not he caught me checking out some hot piece of ass, I guess I got to the point of “if you can’t beat‘em join’em”.
I'll give men some credit and say that, initially, it’s probably more of a reflex to look at someone that stands out. But, unless you are a child, I think you should be able to control staring and making comments. I wonder if men even consider how this may makes the girl they are with feel…I’m sure there are some women who aren’t bothered by this. To be completely honest, it’s not even that it bothers me that much…I am not, never have been, never will be, the girlfriend that throws a fit if my man goes to a stripclub with his buddies, again, I'm of the belief that "it doesn't matter where you get your appetite so long as you eat at home". Having said that, what bothers me is when a man is staring at another women, commenting on how hot she is and I am sitting right next to him!
I have only ever dated one…yes I said one man who I never saw/caught checking out other women, I was treated like I was the hottest most sexy woman in the room…I’m not going to lose hope, I believe that there are other men out there that have the ability to control the grunting and drooling over a beautiful woman with a nice rack and a tight ass when they are on a date with another woman…
Halloween Pictures...
Last Saturday my friends and I went to a Halloween Party. It wasn't the best party, but we all enjoyed getting dressed up for the party. Here is a group picture, from left to right...Ben, Katrin, Nikki, Steve, Me, and Derek. Katrin drew all of those tattoos on Bens arms, she said it took like 2 hours! She is definitely patient, I'm sure I would have given up after about 10 minutes. Here is a close up shot!
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