Does He Like Me?

Since I’m not 12 years old anymore I am beyond the does he like or does he like me like me phase. I guess I shouldn’t get my friends to ask him and pretend that I don’t know they’re asking and sending a note with boxes to check (yes, no, maybe) is also a bit out of bounds at this stage in life.

I’m old enough (29) and mature enough to go beyond these childish tricks…even though they used to be very reliable back in the day. I should be able to tell if a man’s attracted to me right? So why am I totally confused about the “New Guy”. All of the obvious signs are there…He looks at me, not in an “I want to sex you up” kinda way, but really looks at me. He listens to me…women (especially me) talk a lot more than men…the fact that he isn’t on autopilot when I’m talking, that I don’t have to mention beer, sports, or sex to get a reaction is good right? He makes me laugh…and this is very important to me, all women want a man with a sense of humor. He has manners, he opens doors for me (except the car door…it doesn’t work). But honestly most men are so ill behaved that getting them to do anything nice is a definite bonus.

Sounds like he likes me likes me right? I was sure that I had him hook, line and sinker…but now I’m not so sure.

Here’s my question of the day, or should I say my temper tantrum for the day!!! This is something for everyone to think about…why can’t a man ever call when he says he will? Why, when a man says he’ll call later, it’s like days, weeks later??? After you’ve already gone out a few times and he’s called a few times he is not allowed to invoke the 2 day rule, this rule is null and void…a man should no longer be aloud to wait 2 days to call…this rule only applies when they first get your digits. Why does this have to be some big mystery, do they not know how to tell time? It’s not like I sit by my phone waiting for him to call, staring at it trying to make it ring…but how inconsiderate can he be?

100 Things About Me!

100 Things About me…that you may or may not find interesting. This post has been a work in progress for a few months.

1. I am 29 years young!
2. Currently single and I’ve never been married
3. My only child is my dog, Titus
4. I consider myself conservative
5. But I’m actually sorta liberal
6. I’m a registered Republican
7. I used to weigh almost 200 lbs.
8. I grew up in Michigan
9. I moved to Arizona when I was 16 yrs. old
10. I hate the desert
11. I love rain
12. Dolphins are my favorite animal
13. I love leopard print patterns
14. I’ve never believed I was pretty or smart
15. I visit my friend, Mark, in prison at least 1 a month
16. I despise doing laundry
17. I love to cook, but hate to clean up afterwards
18. I'm half slob and half “Monica” from friends
19. I workout 5-6 days a week
20. Money burns a whole in my pocket
21. I attempt to scrapbook
22. Jeans and a t-shirt…my favorite outfit
23. I won’t wear shorts until it reaches 95 degrees
24. I think 70 degrees is cold
25. I sleep with my dog who snores
26. Thanksgiving to Christmas is my favorite time of year
27. I’m a huge football fan!!!
28. I have a tattoo of TIGGER on my lower back
29. I have a Yellow Rose tattoo on my right foot
30. I don’t know how to change a tire
31. I suck at math
32. I wanted to teach American History
33. I’m afraid of heights
34. But I love riding rollercoasters
35. My fear of spiders is beyond arachnophobia
36. I had braces for 6 years
37. I have never lived alone
38. I was born in Florida
39. And I won’t swim in the ocean
40. My feelings get hurt more often than I will ever admit
41. I’ve been in 4 car accidents w/ in a 4 month period…in the same car
42. I love the smell of whiteout…and sharpies
43. My first job was at Dairy Queen
44. I got stood up 2 days before my Senior Prom
45. I went to girlscout camp
46. But I was never a girlscout
47. I talk in my sleep
48. I used to walk in my sleep
49. When I was little my mom and dad called me “rubber lips” because I couldn’t keep a secret…
50. I’ve never tried sushi…yuk!
51. I saw the New Kids on the Block in concert 3 times
52. I’m the youngest of 4…I have 2 brothers and 1 sister
53. I was a tomboy when I was little
54. My favorite color is green
55. I pray everyday (surprised?)
56. I consider myself more spiritual than religious
57. I wish on the 1st star I see almost every night
58. I believe in Soul Mates
59. I wish I could learn how to snow ski
60. I believe in the death penalty
61. I’m addicted to the news, even though it’s usually depressing
62. I actually watch the “Girls Next Door”
63. The 1st boy I ever kissed is Josh
64. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was almost 20 yrs. old
65. I played softball and volleyball in high school
66. And I was really good at both!
67. I wanted to play on the boys football team in 8th grade
68. I got suspended in 6th grade for smoking
69. And I wasn’t even smoking!
70. I didn’t start smoking until I was 21 yrs.
71. I took 2 years of Spanish
72. My favorite food is Mexican food…Yum!
73. 2 guys that I dated have died…
74. The stars, astrology, fascinates me
75. I’ve gotten up at 3:00am to watch a meteor shower
76. I want to get plastic surgery…just a small lift, gravity is not my friend!
77. Feet totally gross me out!
78. My first car was 1982 Chevy Spectrum, it was blue with silver doors on the passenger side
79. I am definitely not a morning person
80. I attempt to complete a crossword puzzle at least 3 times a week
81. I’ve been doing crossword puzzles for about 5 years
82. I’ve never been able to complete one without help
83. I hate the taste of coffee
84. But I love the smell of coffee?
85. I’m addicted to Diet Coke
86. I like to take long drives to clear my head
87. I have a tendency to be a hypochondriac
88. I get bitchy when I am under a lot of stress
89. I’m an extremely competitive person
90. I think have an addictive personality
91. Someone recently told me they think I have ADD/ADHD and it really bothers me!
92. I want to go back to college
93. One of the students at my school has my cell phone, she calls me every night just to say goodnight…
94. I have a tendency to over analyze things!
95. I try to optimistic and look for the good in everyone and everything
96. I am very critical of myself…probably too critical of myself!
97. I had my tonsils removed when I was 23 yrs old
98. I’m a snoop
99. My mom and my sister are 2 of my closest friends!
100. This took a long time

Moving On...

Okay, here’s the thing…I have the desire to be a part of something special and I have a need for independence…

I have accepted my singledom...I know it's been a long time coming, but I am finally moving out of Derek’s house next weekend. I keep telling myself I do not need to find my 'other half' in order to feel whole, I am a whole person, all by myself. But this does not mean that I have resigned myself to the fate of an eternal spinster, instead am going to follow my life where ever it takes me. My Mr. Right is out there somewhere, and when I find him I’ll know it. So for now I will be patient while enjoying the single life…I have come to realize though that patience, rather than being a virtue is actually a royal pain in the ass!!

So what now? Hmm...Tough question. But one I actually have the answer to. I want to spend time with my friends. Enjoy the single life, one day at a time, having fun as I go. One day, a man will walk into my life (if he hasn't already) and change everything.

Dating Dilemma and the New Guy...

Dating is truly an emotional rollercoaster…I could write a book on my last 2 Saturdays nights what they entailed and the rollercoaster of emotions that I went through before, during and after. But let me try to keep it short…

I met the New Guy through a mutual friend, the mutual friend is someone that I dated 10 years ago, nothing serious just a few dates and some so-so sex. New guy and I have been talking via e-mail, text messages, phone calls…We seem to have a lot in common, this guy actually has quite a bit of potential. He’s good looking, funny, smart, has a job, a car, doesn’t live with his parents…all the qualities I look for in a man. New Guy and I go out for drinks 2 weeks ago…things are going great, better than great. I was actually myself with him...didn’t try to be fake to impress him…he even knows my real age (which is 29 for those of you who don’t know)!!! So we have a couple of drinks and he informs me that he can not go out with me again! Can you believe it? Apparently the mutual friend seems to have an issue with New Guy and I dating…We have permission to hangout with each other but nothing else can happen…oops! Then we went out again this past Saturday…once again we had a great time…oops again! I guess what the mutual friend doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?

But seriously though is this total f***king bullshit or what??? How adolescent can the mutual friend be? Wouldn’t you want one of your close friends to be happy? And it’s not like he and I just called things off…It’s been a f***king decade for cryin’ out loud!!! There’s even a “Man Law” commercial that says as long as it’s been at least 6 months it’s okay. And of course the New Guy likes me…I think maybe he’s tried to resist my charm but he just can’t help it!

Is This It???

Lately I've really been thinking about my life, and the fact that the last 8 years of my life I was in a relationship that ended in a friendship. Maybe it's because I see all of my friends and family moving forward, getting married, having babies...After everything is said and done I find myself wondering, "Is this it? Is this what my life is going to be like?" I know I shouldn't feel like I have to ever get married or have kids, just because society says that's "normal" but honestly I like the idea of having someone to grow old with. I'm not crazy about walking the road of life by myself. Maybe I'm too normal, too average, too plain...Or not enough of something. How else do you explain it?

Someone said to me yesterday, "I'm surprised no one has snapped you up, that you're not married." Okay, so the last 8 years I was not "on the market", but honestly, I'm surprised too, I mean I just don't get it. I have a decent job, I love to travel, have a longing for meaningful wild kinky sex, just a little dependent, not a total psycho, laid back, easy going, not all that bad to look at, have big boobies, I have a great sense of humor, and I'm just a lot of fun...So, what's the deal?? What am I doing wrong?

Am I too plain? Am I too average? Am I too heavy? Am I too ugly? Am I too confrontational? Am I too addicted to Reality TV? Am I too high maintenance?

This is not a pity party. I am not depressed or moody or PMS-ing or even putting myself down. I'm thinking and wondering with a perfectly logical mind, "Is this it?" I have made myself into all the things a guy would want in a partner and it seems like I must have broke the mold. Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect (far from it) And I don't think I am looking for perfection, I just want some love, some attention, from a self supporting, good-looking, non-addict, non-psycho, who knows how to have fun.

Update

I've been pretty busy lately with work, working out and looking for a place to live. Yes, I said looking for a place to live. I am determined to not procrastinate any longer and move out of Derek's house! I am going to move into a place with Steve, a guy that I work with, we don't see each other very often so I think it will be okay.

I went to the doctor yesterday, my ankle has really been bothering me, like maybe I have arthritis. I know what your thinking, how could I be so young (29) and have arthitis. Even worse than that is that I had to get weighed...let's just say that I was ready to slit my wrists and throw myself from the roof tops!!! I have gained 10 lbs. since Mexico. I know it's not really swimsuit season anymore, but I am still working out all the freakin' time and I only cheat on my diet like once a week...okay maybe twice a week! This week I am really staring to be serious about diet and exercise...no more cheating.