Will it be a Happy Thanksgiving?

This is hard for me to admit, but I am actually dreading going to my sister's today for Thanksgiving dinner. Thanksgiving used to be my favorite holiday, my family has always been close, and Thanksgiving is the one time when we all get together, without fail. Even though certain family members are loud and things get chaotic, it was also warm, relaxed, and festive without being fussy or stressful. We'd hang out into the evening, talking, joking, Amy and Aunt Shelley planning their shopping strategy for Black Friday and trying to convince me to go shopping with them at 5:00am the next morning.

But in this last year, a lot has changed, the family dynamic has changed. I have come to expect certain behaviors from my family members. My mom has always and will always meddle and give my unsolicited advice, but I know that she does this because she loves me, cares about me and just wants me to be happy. Aunt Shelley has always been very opinionated, it's not even that she gives me advice, she just tells me what to do and how to do it and everyone knows that it's not that she means to be a bitch, that's just how she is, we all accept it and love her for it. My dad, Uncle Greg and Daren are typical men, in front of the TV watching the tradition football game. The kids, Brianna, Cheyanna, Brad & Lindsey, Alicia and Curtis usually run in and out playing, being loud, creating even more havoc, just being typical kids with unlimited amounts of energy. And this year we get the "pleasure" of having Daren's family join us for dinner, I'm not even going to go there! And lastly there is Amy...Anyone who knows Amy knows that she has always had bitchy tendencies, but lately she has grown into something unspeakable...my Grandma Perry, this is not a good thing. She never has anything nice to say, she criticizes everyone. She has become the Mega-bitch! It's almost like she is so unhappy with herself that she feels the need to make everyone else unhappy. Perhaps it's the way that she deals with her own insecurities and makes herself feels better. The tension that I feel when I am around her is unnerving, it takes every ounce of my strength for me not to tell her what I think. However, in the words of my Grandma Adams "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".

I wish I could end on an optimistic note. I hang onto a hope that Thanksgiving will turn into something new and better for my family. I do want to spend it with these people I love and actually enjoy it. I want to think of Thanksgiving as the cool and special holiday I always saw it as.