Does He Like Me?

Since I’m not 12 years old anymore I am beyond the does he like or does he like me like me phase. I guess I shouldn’t get my friends to ask him and pretend that I don’t know they’re asking and sending a note with boxes to check (yes, no, maybe) is also a bit out of bounds at this stage in life.

I’m old enough (29) and mature enough to go beyond these childish tricks…even though they used to be very reliable back in the day. I should be able to tell if a man’s attracted to me right? So why am I totally confused about the “New Guy”. All of the obvious signs are there…He looks at me, not in an “I want to sex you up” kinda way, but really looks at me. He listens to me…women (especially me) talk a lot more than men…the fact that he isn’t on autopilot when I’m talking, that I don’t have to mention beer, sports, or sex to get a reaction is good right? He makes me laugh…and this is very important to me, all women want a man with a sense of humor. He has manners, he opens doors for me (except the car door…it doesn’t work). But honestly most men are so ill behaved that getting them to do anything nice is a definite bonus.

Sounds like he likes me likes me right? I was sure that I had him hook, line and sinker…but now I’m not so sure.

Here’s my question of the day, or should I say my temper tantrum for the day!!! This is something for everyone to think about…why can’t a man ever call when he says he will? Why, when a man says he’ll call later, it’s like days, weeks later??? After you’ve already gone out a few times and he’s called a few times he is not allowed to invoke the 2 day rule, this rule is null and void…a man should no longer be aloud to wait 2 days to call…this rule only applies when they first get your digits. Why does this have to be some big mystery, do they not know how to tell time? It’s not like I sit by my phone waiting for him to call, staring at it trying to make it ring…but how inconsiderate can he be?

100 Things About Me!

100 Things About me…that you may or may not find interesting. This post has been a work in progress for a few months.

1. I am 29 years young!
2. Currently single and I’ve never been married
3. My only child is my dog, Titus
4. I consider myself conservative
5. But I’m actually sorta liberal
6. I’m a registered Republican
7. I used to weigh almost 200 lbs.
8. I grew up in Michigan
9. I moved to Arizona when I was 16 yrs. old
10. I hate the desert
11. I love rain
12. Dolphins are my favorite animal
13. I love leopard print patterns
14. I’ve never believed I was pretty or smart
15. I visit my friend, Mark, in prison at least 1 a month
16. I despise doing laundry
17. I love to cook, but hate to clean up afterwards
18. I'm half slob and half “Monica” from friends
19. I workout 5-6 days a week
20. Money burns a whole in my pocket
21. I attempt to scrapbook
22. Jeans and a t-shirt…my favorite outfit
23. I won’t wear shorts until it reaches 95 degrees
24. I think 70 degrees is cold
25. I sleep with my dog who snores
26. Thanksgiving to Christmas is my favorite time of year
27. I’m a huge football fan!!!
28. I have a tattoo of TIGGER on my lower back
29. I have a Yellow Rose tattoo on my right foot
30. I don’t know how to change a tire
31. I suck at math
32. I wanted to teach American History
33. I’m afraid of heights
34. But I love riding rollercoasters
35. My fear of spiders is beyond arachnophobia
36. I had braces for 6 years
37. I have never lived alone
38. I was born in Florida
39. And I won’t swim in the ocean
40. My feelings get hurt more often than I will ever admit
41. I’ve been in 4 car accidents w/ in a 4 month period…in the same car
42. I love the smell of whiteout…and sharpies
43. My first job was at Dairy Queen
44. I got stood up 2 days before my Senior Prom
45. I went to girlscout camp
46. But I was never a girlscout
47. I talk in my sleep
48. I used to walk in my sleep
49. When I was little my mom and dad called me “rubber lips” because I couldn’t keep a secret…
50. I’ve never tried sushi…yuk!
51. I saw the New Kids on the Block in concert 3 times
52. I’m the youngest of 4…I have 2 brothers and 1 sister
53. I was a tomboy when I was little
54. My favorite color is green
55. I pray everyday (surprised?)
56. I consider myself more spiritual than religious
57. I wish on the 1st star I see almost every night
58. I believe in Soul Mates
59. I wish I could learn how to snow ski
60. I believe in the death penalty
61. I’m addicted to the news, even though it’s usually depressing
62. I actually watch the “Girls Next Door”
63. The 1st boy I ever kissed is Josh
64. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was almost 20 yrs. old
65. I played softball and volleyball in high school
66. And I was really good at both!
67. I wanted to play on the boys football team in 8th grade
68. I got suspended in 6th grade for smoking
69. And I wasn’t even smoking!
70. I didn’t start smoking until I was 21 yrs.
71. I took 2 years of Spanish
72. My favorite food is Mexican food…Yum!
73. 2 guys that I dated have died…
74. The stars, astrology, fascinates me
75. I’ve gotten up at 3:00am to watch a meteor shower
76. I want to get plastic surgery…just a small lift, gravity is not my friend!
77. Feet totally gross me out!
78. My first car was 1982 Chevy Spectrum, it was blue with silver doors on the passenger side
79. I am definitely not a morning person
80. I attempt to complete a crossword puzzle at least 3 times a week
81. I’ve been doing crossword puzzles for about 5 years
82. I’ve never been able to complete one without help
83. I hate the taste of coffee
84. But I love the smell of coffee?
85. I’m addicted to Diet Coke
86. I like to take long drives to clear my head
87. I have a tendency to be a hypochondriac
88. I get bitchy when I am under a lot of stress
89. I’m an extremely competitive person
90. I think have an addictive personality
91. Someone recently told me they think I have ADD/ADHD and it really bothers me!
92. I want to go back to college
93. One of the students at my school has my cell phone, she calls me every night just to say goodnight…
94. I have a tendency to over analyze things!
95. I try to optimistic and look for the good in everyone and everything
96. I am very critical of myself…probably too critical of myself!
97. I had my tonsils removed when I was 23 yrs old
98. I’m a snoop
99. My mom and my sister are 2 of my closest friends!
100. This took a long time

Moving On...

Okay, here’s the thing…I have the desire to be a part of something special and I have a need for independence…

I have accepted my singledom...I know it's been a long time coming, but I am finally moving out of Derek’s house next weekend. I keep telling myself I do not need to find my 'other half' in order to feel whole, I am a whole person, all by myself. But this does not mean that I have resigned myself to the fate of an eternal spinster, instead am going to follow my life where ever it takes me. My Mr. Right is out there somewhere, and when I find him I’ll know it. So for now I will be patient while enjoying the single life…I have come to realize though that patience, rather than being a virtue is actually a royal pain in the ass!!

So what now? Hmm...Tough question. But one I actually have the answer to. I want to spend time with my friends. Enjoy the single life, one day at a time, having fun as I go. One day, a man will walk into my life (if he hasn't already) and change everything.

Dating Dilemma and the New Guy...

Dating is truly an emotional rollercoaster…I could write a book on my last 2 Saturdays nights what they entailed and the rollercoaster of emotions that I went through before, during and after. But let me try to keep it short…

I met the New Guy through a mutual friend, the mutual friend is someone that I dated 10 years ago, nothing serious just a few dates and some so-so sex. New guy and I have been talking via e-mail, text messages, phone calls…We seem to have a lot in common, this guy actually has quite a bit of potential. He’s good looking, funny, smart, has a job, a car, doesn’t live with his parents…all the qualities I look for in a man. New Guy and I go out for drinks 2 weeks ago…things are going great, better than great. I was actually myself with him...didn’t try to be fake to impress him…he even knows my real age (which is 29 for those of you who don’t know)!!! So we have a couple of drinks and he informs me that he can not go out with me again! Can you believe it? Apparently the mutual friend seems to have an issue with New Guy and I dating…We have permission to hangout with each other but nothing else can happen…oops! Then we went out again this past Saturday…once again we had a great time…oops again! I guess what the mutual friend doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?

But seriously though is this total f***king bullshit or what??? How adolescent can the mutual friend be? Wouldn’t you want one of your close friends to be happy? And it’s not like he and I just called things off…It’s been a f***king decade for cryin’ out loud!!! There’s even a “Man Law” commercial that says as long as it’s been at least 6 months it’s okay. And of course the New Guy likes me…I think maybe he’s tried to resist my charm but he just can’t help it!

Is This It???

Lately I've really been thinking about my life, and the fact that the last 8 years of my life I was in a relationship that ended in a friendship. Maybe it's because I see all of my friends and family moving forward, getting married, having babies...After everything is said and done I find myself wondering, "Is this it? Is this what my life is going to be like?" I know I shouldn't feel like I have to ever get married or have kids, just because society says that's "normal" but honestly I like the idea of having someone to grow old with. I'm not crazy about walking the road of life by myself. Maybe I'm too normal, too average, too plain...Or not enough of something. How else do you explain it?

Someone said to me yesterday, "I'm surprised no one has snapped you up, that you're not married." Okay, so the last 8 years I was not "on the market", but honestly, I'm surprised too, I mean I just don't get it. I have a decent job, I love to travel, have a longing for meaningful wild kinky sex, just a little dependent, not a total psycho, laid back, easy going, not all that bad to look at, have big boobies, I have a great sense of humor, and I'm just a lot of fun...So, what's the deal?? What am I doing wrong?

Am I too plain? Am I too average? Am I too heavy? Am I too ugly? Am I too confrontational? Am I too addicted to Reality TV? Am I too high maintenance?

This is not a pity party. I am not depressed or moody or PMS-ing or even putting myself down. I'm thinking and wondering with a perfectly logical mind, "Is this it?" I have made myself into all the things a guy would want in a partner and it seems like I must have broke the mold. Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect (far from it) And I don't think I am looking for perfection, I just want some love, some attention, from a self supporting, good-looking, non-addict, non-psycho, who knows how to have fun.

Update

I've been pretty busy lately with work, working out and looking for a place to live. Yes, I said looking for a place to live. I am determined to not procrastinate any longer and move out of Derek's house! I am going to move into a place with Steve, a guy that I work with, we don't see each other very often so I think it will be okay.

I went to the doctor yesterday, my ankle has really been bothering me, like maybe I have arthritis. I know what your thinking, how could I be so young (29) and have arthitis. Even worse than that is that I had to get weighed...let's just say that I was ready to slit my wrists and throw myself from the roof tops!!! I have gained 10 lbs. since Mexico. I know it's not really swimsuit season anymore, but I am still working out all the freakin' time and I only cheat on my diet like once a week...okay maybe twice a week! This week I am really staring to be serious about diet and exercise...no more cheating.

I chickened out...

I was totally afraid to get on the scale. I know I've put on a few pounds and I don't need to know how many...the goal is just to get rid of them. Why stress myself out by getting on the scale, right? So yesterday I did really good. I had a Greek Salad for lunch (only 300 calories). I had no idea that it would be so good...and because of that I had a Greek Salad for dinner last night. And of course I worked out too...I did 45 minutes of cardio on the elliptical trainer, it kicked my ass!

I'm not feeling very good today. Nikki, one of my co-workers and friends, went home today because she has strep-throat, and her doctor said that she is highly contagious. I know it's probably psychological...but as soon as I heard that my throat started to hurt, and now I have a headache too! Hopefully I'm not coming down with it. With school just starting (ARG!) and the students back here I can't take any time off!!!

Hittin' the Gym...

Ever since the week before Brooke's wedding I haven't been able to get back into the groove of going to the gym everyday. I vow hear and now that will no longer be the case. I'm back and I'm motivated to really get into shape. I know that swimsuit season is almost over (not in AZ, but everywhere else) and the holidays will be here before you know it...so what a better time to commit to this? I'd rather get back into this now then be able to come up with more excuses why I can't. Also, I need to change my eating habits too...It's not that I eat really unhealthy food, but it's just that I eat so late and then in the morning I'm not hungry. And I'm cutting back on the diet coke...I've only had 2 sodas today and it's 4:30pm...I think tonight at the the gym I'll weigh myself to see where I'm at and if I have gained any weight. I'll have to give an update tomorrow...

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

Yep, you guessed it...I'm 29!!! I really don't feel 29...Suprisingly enough I feel a lot younger than that.

New Tattoo

Last week was Amy's birthday and for years she has been saying that she wanted to get a tattoo...On Saturday we decided to go to Bright Ideas. I wasn't even sure that I was going to get one, but once we got there I couldn't help it. Of course Amy tried to chicken out, and I wouldn't let her, I kept telling her that if she didn't get it that day, that she never would. She got "Brianna and Cheyanna" wrapped around her ankle with vine that goes through the names, and she can eventually add rosebuds to it if she wants. This is a pic of my tattoo. OMG...It hurt so bad and I was such a baby about it...I kept jumping and holding my breathe! I don't remember it hurting that bad when I got my tigger! You're probably wondering why yellow roses...It's a long story so I will just say that it has to do with Troy. Next I'll be getting a tattoo with dolphins...I'm not going to run out this week and do it, but it'll have to be sometime soon (Sorry Mom)!

More About Mexico...

This was definitely the highlight of my trip to Mexico...It's not everyday that you get a chance to swim with dolphins. It was incredible, I didn't want it to end!
Another enjoyable part of my trip was checking out all hot guys! I was totally pining for Facundo, he's part of the entertainment staff at the resort that we stayed at. Speaking of the resort...here is a link to check it out Dreams Tulum Resort & Spa It was absolutely amazing!
Okay, back to Facundo, so he wasn't really my latin lover...But, if I had been there with friends instead of my students I totally would have hooked up.

Finally...

Okay...Finally an update to my blog! Some people, I won't mention any names (Martina, Mom)you know who you are, have been giving me a hard time about updating my blog...so here you go! This pic is from the first night in Mexico...what a fun time...After I win the Powerball this weekend, $135 million, I am totally going back!


This is the whole gang plus the staff at Senor Frogs...

PS...I just want to make sure that everyone realizes that just because I finally updated my blog does not in any way mean that I am over Troy or that I have forgotten about him!

Me & Troy

This is the picture of me and Troy that Mom suggested that I post. It was taken back in September when Brooke and Scott were in town, we had been running around doing wedding stuff all day and then kicked back at Brooke's parents, Mike & Marsha, with the family and friends for a few beers. What a great time, I flirted with Troy the whole night and I was so disappointed when the night was over and it was time to go.

Troy Benedict

As some of you know back in November, around Thanksgiving, Troy (Brooke's brother) and I started hanging out, going out, talking, we were spending a lot of time together. After Derek and I broke up things became more serious between us, we spent a lot of time together. He made me laugh like I hadn't done in a long time and he made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman in the world! Things were going great between us up until mid-April, he told me that he was falling in love with me! I got scared, it wasn't that I didn't feel the same but, I wasn't ready for a another serious relationship after just getting out of an 8 year relationship. At that point we decided to slow things down a bit. Brooke and Scott's wedding had to be one of the happiest days of Troy's life, he was so proud of his little sister. Troy passed away Sunday May 7th, 2006. Here is the link to see a memorial to Troy, you can even take a look at pictures that his family picked out to put on the website and read the tributes that many people have written...Troy Benedict

Chicago Here I Come!

I leave bright and early tomorrow morning for Chicago! By bright and early I mean my flight leaves at 7:05am so that means I have to leave for the airport at like 5:30am...which means I have to get up before the butt crack of dawn!! The reason for my trip to Chicago is an IECA Conference, my boss and I are going to do some marketing and recuiting for work. I'm very excited about this trip...I've never been to Chicago so I am hoping to get some time to do some sight seeing and some shopping. Everyone that I have talked to that has been there absolutely loves it! There is only one problem...it's only supposed to be in the high 50's! That's like our winter temps in AZ! I am going to freeze my booty off!

Brooke & Scott's Wedding

What a great time and what an absolutely beautiful wedding! Check out more pictures from the wedding by clicking on the flickr icon to the right!

The Big Day!

Brooke and Scotts wedding is this weekend, April 29th. I'm pretty excited, I've been practicing my Maid Of Honor toast...I get to pick up my dress tomorrow, I hope that it fits okay. Over the weekend me and the girls got bodywraps. I lost 13 inches from head to toe...and of course I didn't even lose an inch off my boobies, I lost the most in my thighs...I am totally good with that. On Sunday I decided to be an idiot and I highlighted my own hair...Needless to say I didn't get blonde highlights, it turned out orange. That's right, less than a week before Brooke's wedding and my hair is orange! I am going tonight after work to see Camille, hopefully she will be able to fix it...If not, the wedding pictures should be pretty interesting!

Work Out Update

I am so hot for my new Personal Trainer...Randy is no longer with Pure Fitness, so we had to pick a new trainer...Preston! He is so beautiful! Like a model beautiful. We worked out with him last night and of course I am so sore today! God forbid he should think that I can't do something...I push myself, like I am trying to impress him. Hey you never know...even though I am dripping with sweat, my black mascara is smeared under eyes, I've got sweat marks under my pits, and I can barely breath...he could totally fall for me! The worst part about it is that I smile throughout the whole workout, he probably thinks I'm some kinda freak that's all into pain!

Sleeping Beauty

Last night I was all ready for bed...and this is what I found, and on my side of the bed! How can a Momma get mad at that? Isn't he just the sweetest thing? He's like a baby, all sweet cuddley while he's sleeping but when he's awake that another story!

Good News...Bad News!

Good News...working out with a personal trainer is finally starting to pay off. It's about time, I am finally seeing results and losing some weight.

Bad News...my dress for Brooke's wedding is too big now! I am going in tonight for alterations.